Sunday, April 13, 2014

Your Boyfriend's Exgirlfriend

Have you ever used Facebook to creep on your ex's new girlfriend or even your boyfriend's exes? I'm guilty of it and I'm sure a lot of you are too. Jake was with his ex for a long time before he met me. She goes to the same school as us and we have some mutual friends. Whenever I see her or a picture of her, I immediately am filled with disgust and anger.

But why?

Is there some unwritten rule that we have to hate each other?

I don't fully understand it. Why do we automatically hate that girl, even if we've never met her? Obviously we have something in common, because at one point, we had similar taste in men. We probably have some other things in common as well. Maybe if we didn't have that one thing in common, we might have even been friends. In fact, we probably would be friends. I'm sure we'd get along great, actually.

I don't know anything about her besides the negative things that Jake has told me and that our mutual friends have told me. I've never heard a positive thing about her. But no girl in her right mind would tell me all these wonderful things about her; it's just not something we do. Girls love drama and gossip and we love rumors. It's just a fact.

But thinking about all of this makes me wonder what would happen if we actually did have a conversation. Would it be filled with rage? Would we act like typical girls and be at each other's throats? That's the first thing that comes to mind. Most girls' first reactions would be ones of anger. But clearly we have things in common. So why can't we be friends, or even just be civil to each other?

I guess the short story is that we don't have to be filled with anger when thinking about awkward situations such as these. Kill 'em with kindness. Be the bigger person and be friendly. Maybe we could start a revolution in girl world.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Why I'm Disappointed in This Month's Cosmo

I am a strong supporter of Cosmopolitan Magazine. I read it secretly when my parents banned it from our house and I subscribed once I moved out on my own. I love the make-up tips, the hair styles, and the woman-power articles.

However, I was extremely disappointed in this month's issue.

It featured an entire section on plastic surgery, and how this is the solution for being self-conscious.

Plastic surgery, unless for a life-saving or non-cosmetic reason, is never the solution for being self-conscious.

If you are unhappy with your body, the first step is to realize that nobody else sees what you see. They don't see just your "large" nose or your flat hair. They notice all of your features combined. You are beautiful in your way and you don't need to change your features in order to fit into your standard of beauty.

Try enhancing the features you are comfortable with. Wear an eyeshadow that accentuates and makes your eye color pop. Or try a different shade of lipstick. Buy yourself a dress that shows off your waist or your long legs. You don't need to resort to plastic surgery.

At my most self-loathing points, I've played with the idea of plastic surgery. But it's not for me. My main reason is that I am so excited to be a mother. I can't wait for the day I get to hold something that I created and see the beauty of my own newborn. That child will also have half of my genes. I want to be able to look in the mirror and see the features my child was handed down, not something a surgeon created.

Monday, March 31, 2014

Maxi Skirts

Today, I bought a maxi skirt.

Now, this would ordinarily be a staple in every girl's wardrobe, but when you're 5'2 and not exactly a stick, you shy away from long skirts.

I'm here to tell the world that you don't have to be 5'9 and 120 pounds to wear a maxi skirt.

Here's what to look for if you're shaped like me (short and slightly curvy):

1. Find one that you can pull up without it wrinkling under your shirt or one that has a fold-over waistband. This way you can adjust the length and you're not drowning in the fabric.
2. Find a flattering fabric. The one I purchased is black and grey. It's got stripes that meet in a "V" in the center, but I wouldn't exactly call it chevron. Avoid straight-across stripes in order to create the illusion of narrower hips.
3. Dress it up! Find a top in a similar color to the skirt in order to avoid awkwardly dividing the midsection. Wear a cute jacket if you're self-conscious about your arms.

Wear that skirt with confidence! You are beautiful and your clothing should highlight and enhance that beauty! Don't be afraid to try new fashion trends just because of your size. As long as you wear it in a way that highlights your beauty, you'll look awesome!

Saturday, March 15, 2014

Birchbox

Recently, I've started subscribing to Birchbox. Each month, you pay $10 and they send you a box of beauty products specifically tailored to you. It asks your skin tone and favorite types of products and comes up with a few samples and products for you to try. At first, I was a little worried that it was a scam, but I did my research and gave in. It is definitely not a scam. Obviously, the goal is really to get you to buy the full-sized products, but that's not why I've subscribed.

I am a make-up fanatic. I love trying new things and Birchbox allows me to do it each month on a budget. $10 is really not much when you're being sent amazing, high-priced items. My favorite product so far is a Stilla lipgloss that perfectly accents my skin tone!

I would definitely recommend trying it out if you're as make-up obsessed as me!

Sunday, March 9, 2014

What Makes You Beautiful

In today's society, women are expected to be 5'8 and 115 pounds. They are expected to have painted faces and airbrushed blemishes. They wear the latest trends by the most fashionable designers, and show a large area of skin. But while that may be something to look at, it's not real beauty.

Real beauty stems from what is inside your mind. It comes from your experiences and your knowledge of the world. It comes from the way you carry yourself. It comes from your motivation and dreams and goals for your life.

Our bodies are inherently beautiful, no matter what society says.

We're beautiful because our bodies were beautifully crafted to, one day, bear children. We are special because we have the ability to become a mother. In my humble opinion, motherhood is the most beautiful thing. We need to take care of our bodies so that we can be prepared in case we decide we want to have children.

That's reason enough to love our bodies, just the way they were made. We don't need surgery to fix the blemishes. We don't need to show it off like a piece of meat in order for it to be beautiful.

If you want to become more beautiful, instead work on your mind. Learn as much as you can and show the world grace and kindness. Real men fall in love with our minds. I promise that when a man falls in love with your mind, he won't care what your body looks like.

Monday, March 3, 2014

What it Really Means to Choose Love

Let me start this off by saying that my relationship isn't perfect. We have our many flaws and we may not fight, but we do bicker at times. I am no relationship expert and I don't want to brag about my relationship. But I am happier with Jake than I have ever been with anyone else.

On my Facebook news feed, I see many blog posts and articles about how a marriage or relationship isn't successful because two people fall in love, but how they choose to love each other. Let me explain what I believe the difference between falling in love and choosing to love to be.

Falling in love is the feeling in your heart that tells you that you deeply care about your significant other. It's the feeling of attraction towards that person.

Choosing to love someone is understand that that person has imperfection. It is not looking past them. It is not staying in a relationship that doesn't benefit you because you love that person despite their huge flaws. Choosing to love someone has to be a two-way street. Your significant other must choose to love you too. It's not a difficult task either, it should not make you cry or hurt you.

It's not always an easy road to be with Jake. But our problems are simply circumstantial. They come from outside issues that we can't control and not from personality issues. Yes, he has flaws. But in my eyes, he's as close to perfect as it gets. He tries very hard to be a good person and because of this, I can choose to love him. It's a choice I make every day, but it's a choice I am happy to make.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

It Won't Be Like This For Long

I’m just a few months away from embarking on the biggest journey of my life as I know it. I’ll be moving home and living with my parents, not for reasons of laziness but reasons of necessity, and then shortly after that I’ll be starting law school. I don’t know anybody else in my class and I’m leaving behind my boyfriend and best friend in the world. Although he’ll be joining me in less than two years, I know it’s going to a tough two years without him by my side.
However, I don’t want to spend this time in fear of the future. I want to live beautifully.

I want to smile and laugh every day.
I want to dance when it rains on my parade.

I want to spend every moment cherishing my life and the people in it.

Law school is only three years. Before I know it, I’ll be graduating, getting married, and having children. Just because the first day marks a tough and scary time, it doesn’t mean I can’t embrace it. Why can’t I enjoy these three years? After all, I’ll never get them back.