It Won't Be Like This For Long

I’m just a few months away from embarking on the biggest journey of my life as I know it. I’ll be moving home and living with my parents, not for reasons of laziness but reasons of necessity, and then shortly after that I’ll be starting law school. I don’t know anybody else in my class and I’m leaving behind my boyfriend and best friend in the world. Although he’ll be joining me in less than two years, I know it’s going to a tough two years without him by my side.
However, I don’t want to spend this time in fear of the future. I want to live beautifully.

I want to smile and laugh every day.

I want to dance when it rains on my parade.

I want to spend every moment cherishing my life and the people in it.

Law school is only three years. Before I know it, I’ll be graduating, getting married, and having children. Just because the first day marks a tough and scary time, it doesn’t mean I can’t embrace it. Why can’t I enjoy these three years? After all, I’ll never get them back.

Clinique Stay Matte Makeup

My mom has always been a huge fan of Clinique makeup. She would always participate in bonus days and those were like Christmas to us. She'd bring home makeup samples and we would play around with the different colors and give each other make-overs. When I got older and started wearing makeup, I wore a lot of her hand-me-down samples. At least until I starting having to buy my own makeup. Clinique is definitely not cheap, so I stopped wearing it.

This past weekend, I went home to see my family. My mom and I went to Clinique and got fitted for foundation just for fun. I tried the Stay Matte foundation and I've fallen in love. I have pretty oily skin. I'm always searching for a foundation or base that will keep my skin looking fresh and clean. On top of having oily skin, I'm very light-skinned. Most brands don't even make a foundation in a shade that matches my skin tone. I've been using BB cream or tinted moisturizer just because they are the only cheaper solution to my skin problems. However, Stay Matte keeps my skin looking fresh all day! My nose always starts getting shiny a few hours into the day. I'm a big powder person. I carry it with me and am always reapplying it to cover that darn shine. With this formula, my skin didn't get shiny at all, not even towards the end of the day!

Clinique makes 20 different shades for this formula. I was surprised to find that they make shades lighter than my skin tone too! This is a first for me! I definitely recommend it if you have similar issues with your skin, or even just want to try something new!

 

New make up!

I tried some new make-up this weekend. One of my favorite things to do is play with new make up and see what new looks I can come up with! These aren't the greatest pictures so bear with me!

 

For this, I used a Clinique Duo in "Jammin'" and a peachy-brown color I already owned (e.l.f. brand). I used Revlon's eye primer as a base. I applied the light pink all over my eyelid and the purple in the crease. Then I took the peachy-brown color and blended in the purple into the crease. I know it's not technical terms or good descriptions of the products but it's hard to do without the products in front of me!

 

Three Good Things

I'm currently enrolled in a class about positive psychology and happiness. The class itself is kind of pointless and I actually really hate it, mostly because the teacher scares me and has very different viewpoints than I do.

But anyway, our latest assignment is called "Three Good Things." For a whole week, we must write down three good things that happened during the day. I thought I'd share my week with you.

Day 1 (Friday)
1. My boyfriend surprised me by delivering a beautiful bouquet of lilies to my work.
2. I got to wear a beautiful dress I'd been saving for a special occasion.
3. My boyfriend and I had a fantastic 3-course dinner at a restaurant we'd never been to.

Day 2 (Saturday)
1. My spur-of-the-moment trip to see my friend turned into a good night spent with her.
2. Her 2 year old son randomly told us that he likes me during dinner.
3. He also drew me a picture.

Day 3 (Sunday)
1. My new boss told my boyfriend that he wants to get me started in some bigger, better projects, and that I'm doing a really good job!
2. I made a delicious dinner of chicken tacos for my boyfriend and I.
3. I also made some more chocolate covered strawberries, because why not?

Day 4 (Monday)
1. I beat a very difficult level of Candy Crush that I was starting to believe was impossible.
2. I finally bought a pair of pale pink skinny jeans and I'm very excited about being able to wear them.
3. My mom started fostering an 8 month old Mini Australian Shepherd who I get to meet this weekend! and she sent me a hilarious video of him playing with our Mini Aussie.

Day 5 (Tuesday)
1. I didn't have to wear a coat to class!
2. I got invited to an admitted students dinner at Nebraska College of Law and I'm very excited about attending!
3. I made $5 from consigning clothing.

Day 6 (Wednesday)
1. It was a really fun day at work; I got to learn some more clerical things.
2. I had my first "spring/summer" meal of the year: BLTs!
3. I went to lunch with a friend I hadn't seen in awhile.

Day 7 (Thursday)
1. I woke up to the rain.
2. My boyfriend took me to lunch.
3. I made a delicious pizza for dinner.

I'll say it...

Girls drive me nuts.

They're catty, rude, and sometimes just downright stupid. But I can't complain because I used to be just like the dumb girls you probably know. That was, until I grew up. And I don't mean "grew up" by turning 22 or starting my senior year of college. I mean I matured. It happened overnight. Seriously. I used to party a lot. I was never a "good girl" in college and I won't lie about it. I drank most nights and I really have no idea how I passed my classes. I made a lot of mistakes. Some of them, I regret. But that's not the point. The point is, I was one of those girls with the jerk boyfriend.

You know, the one who is "in love" with him and can't leave no matter what he does. I'll be honest, there were times I wanted to. There were times I thought about it. God only knows why I didn't just do it, because I really should have. He cheated on me several times for no good reason at all, and the worst part is that I let him. I let him walk all over me. And then one day, it just all fell apart: my fake happy persona, my pretend relationship, my life.
And it took me a long time to get over it. And I mean a LONG time. This is where the mistakes come into play. I made a lot of them. I was a walking disaster. And then something really bad happened. Something I don't really like talking about. But it made me grow up. I spent the whole night crying and wasting perfectly good mascara. The next morning, I woke up and made a promise to myself that I would change for the better.

So I did. I literally grew up overnight. To this day, I don't know how it happened. But I stopped drinking regularly, I stopped acting like I deserved to be treated like a dumb girl, and I started holding my head a little higher. It took me a few months to start believing I deserved better, but eventually something just clicked. And four months later, I returned to the small college town to face my mess and started my senior year of college. I focused on my classes and rarely went out. When I did go out, I went home by myself. And then something amazing happened.

I met the man of my dreams. It's crazy how when you pull yourself together, your life just suddenly starts falling into place. Being in that town was the last place I wanted to be, but all of a sudden, I was happy to be there. I went from the girl with the baggage to the girl with a smile.

So if you're still with me, I'm telling you that you can do it too. If you're that girl with a life like my past and you desperately want to let go, just do it. Jump. I promise it's worth it. It's worth being alone for months and crying yourself to sleep. It's cliché, but they say pain is just weakness leaving the body. I'm pretty sure they're right.

If you're the girl with the crappy boyfriend you just can't seem to lose, I don't want to tell you to dump him, even though I so badly want you to. But I will tell you that feeling alone in a relationship is ten times worse than feeling alone and actually being alone. The relationship that makes you feel alone is the wrong one.

We were never created to be alone. With my whole heart, I believe this. If you've read the Bible at least once in your life, you know that Eve was created from Adam's rib. And she wasn't just created to put up with his crap. Don't believe that joke for a second. She was created to be his companion. And companionship is a two-way street. We were never meant to be alone. You don't have to be. Yes, it's going to suck when you let that relationship go. It's going to hurt. But it's the good kind of hurt. It's the kind of hurt that makes you stronger.

I promise you that there are bigger and better things ahead when you just let go.

Veggie Pasta!

This is one of my all-time favorite dishes to make. It's so yummy and super healthy! The only fatty part is the sauce! Even the noodles are made from veggies! It's also really easy to find the ingredients... everything was bought at Walmart!

Veggie noodles

Green beans

Asparagus

Mushrooms

Onions

Broccoli

Grape tomatoes

All in a cheap Alfredo sauce!

Slut Shaming

Lately an issue that's been on my heart is a concept called "slut-shaming." This is something ALL girls are guilty of at one point or another.

Have you ever called a girl you barely knew a slut? Ever looked a stranger's outfit or behavior choices and made a judgement of their moral character? Ever said a girl was a slut because you couldn't come up with a real, legitimate reason for disliking her? You're guilty of slut-shaming.

It's a real problem for girls in my generation.

You might not see the effects first-hand but using harsh words like this to describe another woman takes a deviating blow to her self-esteem. When you think about how badly your self-esteem has been at times, you know how hard this must be for that girl you've just slut-shamed.

You don't like it when it happens to you personally, but you have no problem openly slut-shaming other women.

What's even funnier is that being a woman is already hard enough. In our society, we are expected to raise a family, hold down a husband, perform traditional roles such as cooking and house-keeping, obtain a career that brings in a decent amount of money, all while being a sane person at an age where we're still trying to figure out who we are.

I don't know who's idea it was to do that, but I personally think it sucks. Because on top of all that, we have to deal with other women constantly tearing us down. Sounds really ridiculous to me.

So, I vow to stop slut-shaming. It doesn't do me any good to do it. In fact, it only makes me look bad! I'll check in with you guys to keep me accountable but this is my promise to myself.

No more tearing each other down. We are strong, beautiful women and it's time we started acting like it.

Hey guys,

welcome to An Anchor to my Soul!  I love crafts, cooking, clothes, make-up, and the typical "girly" things. However, I'm a law student so I'm supposed to be tough, smart, and too busy for those things. I've never kept up with a blog before, but the hope is that this blog can be my creative outlet! Speaking of hope, hope is something pretty important to me. I've been diagnosed with some serious depression and anxiety and hope is something I have to constantly hold on to every day. I try to take life one day at a time and I'm lucky enough to have some amazing people who've joined my crazy rollercoaster life. I'm not crazy religious by any means, but Hebrews 6:19 has always stuck out to me. "For we have this hope as an anchor to the soul..." What a beautiful phrase. I even have an anchor tattooed on my ankle to remind me to never lose hope. And what a beautiful idea. Hope is something our soul needs. I know my soul craves it. Without hope, I wouldn't be able to dream and I have some pretty big dreams. For starters, I want to graduate law school and eventually become a judge. Earning a judgeship isn't easy and I have a long road ahead of me. But boy am I excited for that journey!
So here's to my journey and the hope that maybe somebody will get something out of this blog!